A Guest Blog by Steve Johns, Author of ‘How to Write a Groom’s Speech’.
When planning a wedding between a man and a woman, which partner do you think the wedding planner would speak with the most? Who booked the wedding planner, and who is the main point of contact? If you guessed the woman, you would be in the majority, but the tide is slowly turning.
It seems that up to 39% of men recently reported that they were responsible for picking the ceremony site. Maybe surprisingly, 19% said they were solely or mostly responsible for choosing the bride's wedding dress (according to research by Mintel). In the same research, 36% of women say the wedding venue is the most important, compared to 46% of men.
As well as making key decisions in the lead up to the wedding, a groom also has a leading role to play in the speeches - his own speech is sandwiched between the father of the bride’s speech and the best man’s speech.
I know soon-to-be grooms must feel: apprehensive, curious and eager to make a good impression. To start with, no groom will feel prepared for writing his speech, and it can feel daunting when you look at a blank page with accumulating dread.
I wanted to make my groom’s speech immaculate, so therefore I made sure I put lots of effort into preparing well. I felt that my prior preparation made the reading and execution of the speech very easy. I never feared losing my place or forgetting my line. It’s a fantastic feeling to have close friends and family congratulate you afterwards, and also to have that feeling of satisfaction when you know you have done the best job you can!
The two essential things a groom must do in his speech are:
1) Say thanks to the relevant people.
2) Tell his wife how much he loves her!
As a minimum, if you do this you will get lots of ‘Ahhs’, and you will have got through it. To prepare a speech properly, though, takes dedicated time and attention to detail.
Ideally, when starting to plan a groom’s speech, they must be aware of what content to include and who to thank. The groom’s speech should toast both the bridesmaids and the bride. The groom may wish to thank the host, the in-laws, and the groom’s party, which I did and planned for in my speech. Some brides may wish to take the opportunity (during the groom’s speech) to toast the bridesmaids herself (my wife was happy for me to do the honours though!).
The guests will usually have eaten, maybe had a couple of drinks and be relaxed and settled. During the groom’s speech the guests expect to be entertained and also hear sentiments from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. This is a great opportunity for the groom to make a great impression on those they care about most, and their newly wedded family.
I decided to write a comprehensive guide for my fellow grooms out there who didn’t know where to start (see link below for details). I know how it feels, so I put my whole speech with commentary in an easy to use step-by-step format.
If you know a groom who would like to hear about an easy way to plan their speech, this is the definitive guide, with tips, tricks and advice along the way from my own experience of getting married. I hope they find it useful!
Steve’s book, How to Write a Groom’s Speech, is available to download from the Amazon book store on kindle format or to order from Amazon as a print copy.
"Thank you Steve for providing great advice to wedding planners on how they can support their grooms with confidence. I'd highly recommend that planners consider Steve's book for their grooms if they're looking for great tips on writing a personal and memorable speech"
Maria O'Dea, Event School Director
“Steve’s guide is a must-read for any groom. As a wedding photographer I have attended in excess of 200 ceremonies and have witnessed many a flustered groom in a state of panic during their speech, primarily attributed to poor preparation. Steve’s step-by-step approach will ensure all your foundations are in place to deliver an engaging, heartfelt and humorous speech... just like Steve's was!”
Rob Tarren, Professional Wedding Photographer.